“Teach what is inside you..”

I have been struggling with defining MY own version of success for a little while now. If you had been following my writings in the past 4-5 months, you will see this has been the main theme running throughout the past entries. Truth be told, I had been so fixated with the idea of success which I had formed in my early 20s that letting go of this rigid definition of success became a starting point to which I began to question what truly, and absolutely matters to me.

My TTC last September-Oct was not the starting point to reconstructing my own idea of success, but it was definitely an enabler which opens up a floodgate from which passion, interest, and the desire to serve others were rekindled. Since the conclusion of the TTC last Oct, I had been teaching beginners-intermediate Hatha Yoga to a handful number of mostly women. Women who are my close friends, my colleagues, and also strangers that faithfully walked through the door of the multipurpose hall every Saturday to attend the sessions that I lead.

The more I teach, the more humbled I am. I know for sure, joy for me resides in the light that shines through the eyes of these women as they slowly open their eyes from their final Savasana pose. One weekend ago, a woman who had been practicing her shoulder stand with the support of a wall eventually pushed off and held her pose on her own. As I was assisting another person from across the room, she let out a tiny squeak and soft “wheee” as I am sure the exhilaration of mastering something new washes through her.

When she eventually got out of the pose, and 5 breath of Matsyasana later, she rolled back up and told me “I did my first shoulder stand at home this week, and I was so excited I nearly wanted to call you straight away”

I smiled to what seemed like a HUGE grin, as a big ‘WOW!’ moment reverberated through my mind. In that moment, I know everything thing that has brought me to this very moment, was absolutely, and totally worth it.

Maya Angelou once said – Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.

I have not reached that point in which I can crystalize my own idea of success so coherently into one sentence as that. But I know it comes pretty close. And I have this suspicion that it has something to do with sharing what I know of yoga to the masses so that they too can journey through their own lives in the most peaceful & rewarding way possible.

All the same, the more I teach the more I feel that I am learning of the essence of humanity, what drives people? what is important? where are they now and where do they wish to go with their own lives?

I came across a powerful advice from the words of Sri T Krishnamacharya who is also the man responsible for the sparking the birth of Ashtanga Yoga and Iyengar Yoga (both Sri Patabhi Jois & Iyengar were his students). He said “Teach what is inside you, not as it applies to you, to yourself, but as it applies to the other”

Thus serving as a constant reminder that to teach is not always to dump all your knowledge onto the next willing passerby, but to consciously form the understanding of where the other is at that very moment and structuring the next 75-90 minutes of your time together as it applies to them. And if I can do this, and have the same desired effects from every single person that attends my classes, that to some degree, is success to me.

A weekend with Kiri Sutherland

This weekend, my mornings was been spent with Kiri Sutherland at Upward Yoga studio practicing LED Ashtanga on Saturday and then attending her workshop today. She is a visiting practitioner from New Zealand and one of the 200 certified Ashtanga Teacher in the world. Coming back from the rigorous training in Vikasa where the all-famous Vikasa Salutations leaves many gasping for breath, I was craving for an equally intense teacher led class since. There is a stark difference between pushing myself in my own daily morning practice, and being pushed by someone else in a classroom setting. Kiri’s class was my first teacher led class since I had gotten back.

I don’t identify my practice with a specific type of yoga, and Ashtanga with its own rigorous set of poses (even in the primary series) always has me a little bit apprehensive. So when I decided to turn up at Ninie’s studio yesterday, I was warned that it will be a full primary series practice. Then again in hindsight, what else would you be expecting from say..one of the only 200 certified ashtanga teachers in the world right?

My first thought was “holy shit”. I diligently handed over my fee for the session (no backing out now!) and walked to the lockers to extract my phone and eventually tweeted something that sounded like “OMG, I just signed up for full primary series. We can do itttt…we can do itttt” as images of Sirsasana and arm balances flashed through my mind. It didn’t help that I had just downed a whole cup of freshly brewed Christmas Brew Coffee at Starbucks in an effort to kill of my migraine before the class. My thoughts were racing from one end to the other and the excitement of being able to practice in a class again made it feel like I had an orchestra of chatter up in my head.

The class opened with the soft spoken Kiri as she gently guide us through Surya Namaskar A & B and then the common poses throughout the primary series. We had lots of binding which I love and we went through the whole series of it – From Marichyasana A all the way to D. Hey maybe Ashtanga isn’t so scary after all. Kiri conducted her class with a lot of warmth, a lot of  gentleness about it that it felt comfortable. I think I might have forgotten it was an Ashtanga led class midway through the session!

The workshop today had a slightly larger turn out then the class yesterday with more in depth coverage on the jumpbacks and jump throughs she taught yesterday. My arms aching from yesterday, attempted more of these beautiful-to-watch jumpbacks and jump throughs but SO SO complicated when doing it unto yourself. One knee goes up close to your chest, through the gap between your arms,… and uhh what do I do with the second leg?? A few more practice, and perhaps with a little less calculated thought going into it, maybe, just maybe I will get it looking half as graceful as Kiri’s.

After the workshop ended, a few people hung around and I got to catch up with Ninie on her recent trip to Bali. At the same time I got to ask her about the infamous Chaturanga which I have been trying to do correctly since I realised in Anatomy class at Vikasa that my upper body strength requires lots to be desired for in a perfect Chaturanga. True, that yoga is more than just perfection in asanas, if ever perfection is attainable, but to be able to do it correctly and safely is obviously the ultimate goal.

Ninie, owner of Upward and also someone whom I secretly (or not so secretly anymore I guess, judging by my past entries on her classes) admire is now about 7 months into her first pregnancy. And even in pregnancy, she still keeps up with her practice and posted a jaw dropping practice in her 21 weeks.

I watched in awe as she set herself up into a plank and lowered herself mid-way to a chaturanga, shoulders strong holding her entire body up, knees and belly hovering close to the floor but never touching. “Ok now you try it” she said and I had to stifle a giggle as I set myself into a plank and said “even YOU can do it and you’re pregnant, you’re putting me to shame”. I think she chuckled a little before she said “well I’m pregnant, my tummy can’t really touch the floor anymore now!”

Both Kiri and Ninie reminded me today why yoga can be so humbling, and the gentle kind warmth that radiates from those who understands it well and practices it constantly is inspiring.